Afraid-ing? Maybe....

i donnu whether there will be a chance or not,
but what i think i should give a try,
although instinct told me that i am a failure this time,
just donnu why i wanna keep a try.
i have a bet,
not only with myself,
with everything i have, and i wish to have
i am SHOWING HAND.
(it sounds like i am playing poker now)

When the time will come?
i don't want to think bout it.
Just know that i am afraid to see what i dont hope to see.